Cable & Deadpool #16

Issue Date: 
August 2005
Story Title: 
Enema of the State: part 2: What If…?
Staff: 

Fabian Nicieza (writer), Patrick Zircher (penciler) Udon’s M3TH (Inkers), Gotham (Colourist), V.C.’s Cory Petit (Letterer), Paul Mounts (colourist cover) Barber & Macchio (Consulting Editors), Nicole Wiley (editor), Joe Quesada (Editor in Chief), Dan Buckley (Publisher)

Cable created by Rob Liefeld and Louise Simonson

Deadpool created by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Nicieza

Brief Description: 

Cable has recently disappeared, so Deadpool, Cannonball and Siryn are searching for him. Using Deadpool’s special link to Cable and a special harness that Forge designed for him, Deadpool can now jump between dimensions to places where Cable could be. What Sam and Siryn don’t realize is that Deadpool has been brainwashed to kill Cable once he finds him. The first world they land on, they have to fight the Horsemen of Apocalypse, including their most powerful member, War, aka Cable. During the fight, Siryn realizes that this is not their Cable and Deadpool reluctantly flees. The next world is a paradise where Cable, now known as Brother Nathan, has eliminated war, prejudice, violence and hunger. His future technology even has created floating crystal-like robots that interfere the moment somebody has even the tiniest amount of pain or discomfort. Deadpool is disgusted by this world and teleports out the moment Cannonball and Siryn teleport in. The next world is even worse: there, the techno-organic baby that merged with Cable became dominant and the whole world has been absorbed into a single techno-organic group mind. The group mind tries to absorb Deadpool, but Cannonball and Siryn come to the rescue. Sadly, they are a little too late and Deadpool is already infected. Deadpool turns out to be indigestible to the group mind though; his mind causes the group mind great pain and they are unable to keep him absorbed. The virus leaves Deadpool and he teleports to the next world. Deadpool lands near a normal-looking farm, but inside he finds Cable as a small baby. The baby’s guardian turns out to be Mr. Sinister.

Full Summary: 

Searching for the missing Cable, Deadpool, Sam and Siryn have landed on an alternate world, where they have faced and defeated three of Apocalypse’s horseman, but the third Horseman, War, turns out to be Cable.

War attacks the three with a telekinetic wave. Siryn asks Sam to cover them, but Deadpool tells her that he could cover her; Sam is a farm boy and he’s afraid that, if Sam covers them, he will think that he’s his favorite sheep and… Siryn cuts him off. Meanwhile, Deadpool reminds himself of Black Box’s programming, forcing him to attack War and also of the romantic history between Siryn and himself.

Sam attacks War back, but is easily knocked away by him, who tells them that Apocalypse has freed him. Deadpool shoots War in the face (with little effect) and accuses him of liking the changes Apocalypse done to him. He tells War that Cable always accuses him of having no self-control, but now War is even worse. War admits that he was hypocritical before when dealing with Wade and admits to having killed millions since his transformation. Deadpool wonders how Cable could have killed so many people in such a short time (unless he would use the light-transmitted virus and transmit it during American Idol).

Siryn stops War with a focused scream. Wade asks her what she’s doing: they came there to rescue Cable. Siryn reminds him that a) Deadpool just shot Cable in the face himself and b) that this is not their version of Cable. Deadpool pretends that he has figured out the same. Sam tells them that, if this isn’t their Cable, they should move on. Deadpool wonders if it is not really their Cable going insane through brainwashing, because Deadpool claims to have either brainwashed the Olsen Twins into loving him or brainwashed himself into believing the Olsen Twins loved him.

Sam isn’t in the mood for discussions because, if Deadpool teleports out, he and Siryn still have to survive for three minutes and that may be three minutes more than they have. War tries to shame Deadpool by telling him that at least his version of Deadpool had the guts to go out fighting. Deadpool doesn’t want to leave Siryn behind. War tries to use this against Deadpool, but Terry tells him to teleport out. Deadpool bodyslides away. The last thing he sees is War knocking Siryn and Cannonball into each other and he hopes they will survive.

Deadpool arrives on another world, a virtual paradise, where he notes that even the air smells pretty. The landscape is filled with high-tech building, lots of plants, floating crystals, fairy-like creatures, tropical birds and people reading Askani-legends are seen everywhere. Deadpool starts to wonder if the real Cable may not be dead and if that’s why the teleportation harness is taking him to other versions of Cable.

A small child sees Deadpool and sees his guns, asking if that is what they are. Deadpool tells the kid the other object he’s holding is a sword. The kid’s mother asks Deadpool to put away the weapons; they are agitating her child. Deadpool refuses, but is surrounded by the floating crystals and zapped. The energy disintegrates his weapons. Mother and child continue reading. The crystals leave because they detect indigestion elsewhere. Deadpool looks after them for a minute, then decides he rather be back on the Age of Apocalypse world he just left.

Cable appears behind him and tells Wade that this may take some getting used to. Deadpool asks Cable if really went so far to create a world where people can’t even have a stomachache. Cable replies that he can’t stand seeing people suffering and asks Wade to call him Brother Nate. Deadpool recognizes the smile on Cable’s face and thinks to himself what it means: “The one that says: ‘You are an eggplant. Be happy I allow you to grow big and meaty and purple in my world.’” I get that one a lot. Always makes me want to carve it off his face with a knife. And I would too… if it weren’t for the fact that I figure he’s right.”

Deadpool concludes that this reject from a Topeka production of Godspell isn’t his Cable either and asks if this was what Cable had planned for his world as well. Brother Nate tells him that there is no war, hunger, prejudice or conflict on his world. There is no life either in Deadpool’s opinion. Nate and Deadpool argue to the point where Wade finds out that there is no TV either, people spend their time meditating and reading. Nate replies that TV took itself out when it had 14 CSI’s, 12 Law and Orders and a 24 hour Fear Factor Channel. For once Deadpool agrees.
Nate then tells Deadpool that the Cable he’s looking for isn’t on this planet, but his essence is in all they are. He tells Deadpool that, in fact, Deadpool isn’t looking for Cable, he’s looking for himself. Deadpool looks at him with pity for a moment, then counts to three. At that exact moment, Siryn and Sam bodyslide in. Both are happy to be alive and are shocked to see Deadpool bodysliding out again; they were hoping for a moment rest. Deadpool tells them that any world is better than this one. Sam recognizes Brother Nathan as Cable and Brother Nathan tells him that he hopes things will be different between Cable and him on his world.

On the new world, Deadpool quickly realizes that the next world can be worse than the previous one. Everything is covered in techno-organics. Deadpool figures out that, in this world, there was no symbiosis between Cable and the Phalanx baby. Instead, the Phalanx took mental control over Cable.

Deadpool’s musings are interrupted by a mechanical voice detecting organics. Tentacles trap Deadpool and take him to a completely techno-organic Cable. The T.O.-Cable keeps talking about unification and how all lifeforms should be one and that Deadpool should be made part of the whole as well. Tentacles enter his brain to assimilate Deadpool, but they are destroyed by Siryn’s sonic scream. Cannonball attacks Cable and wonders if there aren’t any alternate worlds that are messed up in a nice and normal way like back home.

Siryn checks on Deadpool, who is infected by the T.O.-virus. He tells her that his healing factor is trying to fight it off and asks her if she will still love him if he’s battery-operated. Terry wants to reply, but Deadpool interrupts her: the Phalanx baby did take control on this world, but it was still a baby, so it took Cable’s dreams and goals as his own though twisted by the Phalanx mindset.

Deadpool is starting to speak like a Phalanx as well; he sees how the whole world is united and how he could be a part as well. Cannonball’s forcefield protects him from the virus, but he tells the others that he won’t last long. Siryn tries to get Wade to snap out of it. Wade tells her that Cable wanted him to be a part of the whole and that now he can. Siryn fights against techno-organics going in her direction. She sees Deadpool almost completely absorbed in the corner of her eye, telling her that he himself could be whole there, but the next moment the virus is gone. Deadpool tells her “Nah.” realizing that he would not want to be a part of the whole at all.

In turn, the techno-organic Cable now seems in extreme pain. Sam asks what’s happening and Terry thinks it was the attempt to assimilate Deadpool’s personality into their group mind, which should be alike absorbing a brain tumor. Sam tells them that this may not last long, so Deadpool should bodyslide out now. Deadpool complies.

The following world is a surprise to Deadpool; he seems to arrive on a fairly normal farm. He thinks to himself that this all reminds him of a movie and thinks that the cornfields house monsters: techno-organic, telekinetic, telepathic cream corn. He then finds it funny that his first thought on each world is Cable took it over.

Deadpool tells himself that the world looks actually peaceful, but he still needs a weapon. A pitchfork will do and he enters the house, shouting if anybody knows Cable. He is surprised to see a cradle containing “the scariest [Cable] yet”: a baby with a techno-organic arm. A long arm reaches for the child and takes it from the cradle, telling Deadpool that it is funny that he was looking for somebody named Cable, because he was considering the baby’s name for quite some time. The arm belongs to Mr. Sinister, who considers the name Cable to be very appropriate for the baby. He tells Deadpool that he has created the child to be the lifeline between past and future. He then introduces himself but Deadpool can only think to himself how he really needs to pee now.

Characters Involved: 

Deadpool/ Wade Wilson

Cable/ Nathan Dayspring

Cannonball, Siryn (both X-Force)

War

Brother Nathan

Techno-Organic Cable (alternate reality versions of Cable)

Mr. Sinister

Story Notes: 

Askani is Cable’s religion/philosophy from the future.

American Idol is the smash hit American version of Britain’s “Pop Idol” television series, both of which were created by Simon Cowell, a record producer famed for his biting wit and criticism.

The Olsen Twins are Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are twin girls who first appeared as the same character, Michelle Tanner, on the sit-com Full House and have gone on to star in their own series of television movies. Now having reached their late teens, some have found that they have grown into attractive, young women.

Topeka is a city in Kansas, far enough off of Broadway where one might expect to find a musical production of lesser quality. Godspell is one such Broadway production, which is based off of the Gospel of Saint Matthew.

The comment about “14 CSI’s, 12 Law and Orders and a 24 hour Fear Factor Channel” refers to the explosion of CSI and Law and Order spin-off shows in recent years and the constant running of NBC’s reality show, Fear Factor.

The Phalanx is a techno-organic alien species which has tried to invade Earth on several occasions.

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