Issue Date: February 2007
Story Title: Past Indiscretions
Staff: Fabian Nicieza (Writer), Reilly Brown (Penciler), Rob Liefeld (Cover), Jeremy Freeman (Inker) Gotham (Colourist), Dave Sharpe (Letterer), Nicole Boose (Editor), Joe Quesada (Editor in Chief), Dan Buckley (Publisher)
Cable created by Rob Liefeld and Louise Simonson
Deadpool created by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Nicieza
Wade, out of costume, walks around New York City. As he tries to go about his day, he keeps having flashes of his surroundings resembling people he killed in the past. Dismissing these visions, Wade attempts to watch TV when an old victim Ajax appears on screen, delighting in his new ability to haunt Wade forever. Wade becomes freaked out and attempts to run away from these visions. In Providence, Cable and Domino spar as Irene attempts to give him his daily schedule. After Irene becomes annoyed and leaves abruptly, Domino realizes Irene hates her and encourages Cable to deal with the situation. She also tells him to make sure Wade is okay. Back in New York, Wade has started seeing other people as his former victims and starts threatening them with a gun. The hallucinations mock Wade and ask him if he ever really cared about the people he killed. Downtrodden, Wade makes his way to a bar where he finally snaps and starts shooting his guns. As he starts to shoot at the other patrons, asking what's a few more victims, Cable appears to stop him. After a brief confrontation in which Wade blows his arm off with a grenade, Cable agrees to turn off the visions. After a discussion leads to Wade realizing he needs to deal with his guilt, they teleport away and Deadpool wonders what he should do.
In the middle of a crowded Times Square, a casually dressed Deadpool asks a nearly naked man in a hard hat and carrying a tuba if he is seeing the same odd sight that Wade sees. “See what?” asks the tuba man. Just every sign and advertisement featuring Makeshift and Rive, two mercenaries he kil… uhm disposed of in self defense. At least the first thirty two times he elaborates. It involved clones and entrails. A lot of entrails. The tuba man asks what he’s talking about, as the multitude of advertisements featuring the two women revert to normal. That was odd, Wade thinks, leaving a confused tuba man.
Passing a video game store, one of the screens shows Deadpool fighting a monster screaming Tiamat will slay the Mithras! Die Mithras die! Wade looks back wondering if the familiar conversation was from a new Deadpool video game and they forgot to pay him royalties. However, the screen only shows a regular medieval style fighting game. Been an odd day, thinks Wade. Oh well, time for falafel.
From outside the Falafel Hut, Deadpool orders a falafel spicy enough to shrivel “his boys.” As he enjoys his meal, he passes a crossing light flashing, “Who have you killed today?” Throwing his trash into a can, he ponders what a merc for hire does when he can't get a job to save his life. After feeding some pigeons in the park and visiting an adult entertainment store, Wade returns to his apartment for a TV Land Maude marathon.
“To Bea or not to Bea...” Wade ponders. He appears quite content with his bowl full of edamame, singing along with the chorus, And then there's Maude--I don't know the rest of the words. As Wade pops an edamame bean into the air, Ajax appears on the screen, completing the chorus, That old compromisin' enterprisin' anything but tranquilizing, right on Maude. Oh right thanks Ajax, Wade says. Wait AJAX?! What are you doing on my TV?
When the image replies “haunting you,” Deadpool replies cool, but he realizes that he would have to kill him again for interrupting his beloved Bea if he hadn't already killed him, right? “I'm so scared,” Ajax claims sarcastically as he takes off his helmet. He does admit that it was disappointing not having killed his ugly self, especially when he made things so rough for him at the Weapon X facility where he got your healing factor. Always meant to apologize for constantly interrupting all the physical and psychological torture of all the patients, Wade interrupts as the screen shows his past self being experimented on. Well, being able to haunt him forever practically makes being killed by him worth it, claims Ajax.
You forgot one thing Butt Monkey, thinks Wade. Clik. Wade stands up looking very annoyed with the remote in hand. It has been a really odd day he thinks. Little problem with your plan there the suddenly turned back on TV image of Ajax gloats. Yelling, Wade falls backward onto his chair spilling his edamame all over. He tries to turn the TV back off, but Ajax just mocks him. Not quite wrapping your head around this are you? Ajax continues, where are you going? How far do you think you have to go to escape your subconscious? As Wade runs down the street, he replies, apparently a little bit further than Greenwich Village. As he runs past more advertisements featuring his past victims, he declares to himself, I really wish my recap page was part of regular continuity. Then I might know who's responsible for this.
In Cable's South Pacific think tank, Providence, Cable and Domino are sparring in the gym. Irene reads off the day's schedule. Ten o'clock with the Japanese and Australian ambassadors, lunch with the Roxxon geologist, three o'clock with the Syrian expatriates, she rattle off. Five o'clock infonet relaxation time, he says he’s downloading the day's news, but she knows you're watching The View. Rosie's made it interesting don't you think, asks Cable. Dinner with his cabinet, they picked Indian, she continues. Tell Pradeep not to hold back on the curry suggests Cable. She counters, sure because having his lungs seared is like napalm in the morning to you. Looking concerned, Cable turns toward Irene, asking if something is wrong. A mid-jump Domino exclaims, don't turn away, just before delivering an aerial kick to the back of his head.
Despite being the one who took the blow, Cable asks the landed Domino if she is okay. They both confirm to each other that of course they are fine. Turning back, Cable inquires about Irene. Anger and annoyance flashes across her face and Cable, and Domino looks back puzzled and awkward. As Irene angrily leaves the room, she declares, “I'll get your ten o'clock ready. Lot of work today, you remember work right?”
Domino turns to Cable stating that Irene, former reporter and Cable's chief of staff, totally hates her guts. Totally, agrees Cable. This going to be a problem for him? she asks. Definitely, but he'd rather completely ignore the situation for now, he admits. Yeah that strategy will work, she replies sarcastically. She knows how he am about these things, Cable tries to reason. They're all like that about these things, Domino informs him, just don't let it drag out too long. As long as he lets... them... drag out, he asks hesitantly. Kissing him on the cheek, she replies, “if you wait that long, I'll kill you before she does.”
Don't forget to check on Wade when he’s in the infonet chamber, she adds. Is she actually worried for him, Cable asks. Domino figures that, with the kind of pasts they've all had, she wouldn't wish that kind of punishment on herself. He assures her that he's been checking on him every day and will stop if it gets too bad. What's her schedule like, he inquires. She informs him that she will be working all day with Lockheed on the sonic blanket technology they are so excited about. Alright says Cable, and thanks Domino. For what, she asks. For everything, he concludes. You're welcome, she smiles, and please don't forget about Wilson.
Back away now, screams an angry Wade, pointing a gun. His target, a fallen Tiamat dressed in a tank top with fishnets and stockings, complete with an iPod and purse. The oddly attired monster states, Mithras is confused, Tiamat alleviates hardship, sucks brains out from head. Mithras hesitates? I'm thinking about it, yells Wade. Screaming and shooting into the air, The Tiamat jogger runs away. Turning towards the window of an electronic store, every television set has the picture of former clown enemies he killed. From around the corner, two more pedestrians appear as former enemies. “This isn't my normal Looney Tunes world, this is like extra-crispy handfuls of Viagra crazy,” Wade laments. He means clowns, that's just playing dirty. Deadpool could use some face paint, mocks the TV clown. He could use a fifth of whiskey, Wade counters. He also declares that none of them can be real because they are all dead.
Maybe this is some telepathic thing, since he's sort of an X-Man. You are not, contradicts Ajax in the form of yet another iPod wearing jogger. He chases down Ajax, yelling how they were trained by the greatest mind on Earth, Charles Xavier, to deal with this kind of stuff. Ajax calls him wrong again, despite the gun Wade now holds to his head. Screaming, Wade asks then why does he have a uniform with an X on the belt and yellow ladies' panties? Face distorting, the runners true face returns, pleading that he didn't do anything. From the iPod's screen Ajax taunts, yeah Wade, he didn't do anything, but you did. You killed us all. How many people have you killed, or have you lost track? He has't lost track, defends Wade. Then how many is it, asks Ajax. Okay he has, concedes Wade, gun still pressed to the head of the runner.
Dropping the bystander and turning the gun towards the televisions, Ajax asks Wade what it really means about him if he's lost track of his victims. Did the number of people killed get so high that he stopped caring or did the number get so high because he never cared in the first place? A stunned and confused Wade hesitates, then lowers his gun. That's what he thought, says Ajax. He’s so far lost he doesn't even know the answer. He continues insulting Wade as he solemnly walks down the street. He has no friends because who can trust him, and he can't find work because you screwed up in front of the entire world. The only thing you had going for him was hooking up with Cable and he screwed that up because of his stubborn ego. Must be tough to be such a loser but he’s probably use to it by now, ends the disembodied voice of Ajax. Wade snaps, “shut up all of you,” and enters a bar.
Sitting down at the bar, Wade orders whiskey, peppermint schnapps and a Mountain Dew. That's ugly, comments the bartender. Inside and out, Wade retorts. The television displays Hajin bin Barat teasing Wade that, even when he kills a world renowned terrorist, no one can know he did it. Wade then wonders if having this mysterious aspect of a “Conscience” will be permanent, since it could make life difficult. As more victims bemoan their deaths on the TV, Wade tries to enjoy his alcohol, but his inner turmoil causes him to shatter his glass by squeezing too hard with his bare hand.
Finally snapping, Wade stands up, pistols drawn and begins shooting all around him, terrifying the other patrons. What difference does it make if he stopped caring or never cared at all, he thinks. And if that doesn't make a difference then what's adding a few more to the total, he ponders, training his gun on a fleeing patron. The screaming man runs as Wade shoots but, as the bullet reaches the innocent man, a blue aura surrounds him, and the bullet bounces off.
Wade realizing what has happened inwardly curses, Son of a... X-Man and a clone of an X-Man who died and came back several times due to quarterly budgetary needs, who was then infected by the techno-organic virus and sent to the far future to live in a harsh world of fighting and survival. Cable stands on the bar, blue aura deflecting the bullets Wade frustratingly fires at him. Will you stop, asks Cable, rushing towards him. As Wade empties his clips, he angrily spouts that they were through. They got a divorce, right? So why is he still messing with his head? Dropping an empty gun, Wade uses his free hand to pull a grenade out of his jacket, pulling the pin. Did he actually go to a bar with a grenade in your pocket, asks Cable. “Or am I just glad to see you?” mocks Wade.
An explosion of energy throws Wade out of the bar window, grenade still clutched in his hand. Wade determines that it's just as well, that was one of his favorite bars. Then again this was one of his favorite arms, he thinks just before the grenade explodes. Stunned and now missing an arm Wade asks if it was Cable using a Jedi mind trick that brought him to this point. Cable explains that he linked Wade's synaptic signals to the infonet, giving his memories pixilated substance and then let Wade's subconscious do the rest.
He forgot one thing though, says Wade, arm regrowing. Cable trapped a bunch of people he killed in my head that either deserved it or were trying to kill him. You also assumed he cared about anyone that I killed. That's two things, notes Cable. Okay he’s right, can he turn this crap off now? asks Wade. Suddenly, all the images of his former victims revert to normal signs and advertisements. Wade then proceeds to insult and question the motives of Cable, asking if he really thought some kind of subliminal message about the people he had killed would make him feel bad about himself. If he would come rushing back to Cable, apologizing about the Civil War and Rumekistan and the Gogurts. Cable concedes a bit awkwardly that he had. He thought Wade would come to him for help and they'd go from there. “Well, I don't need your help and I don't need you,” states Wade. As Wade walks away, police cars and police officers surround the two men. Cable tells Wade that he didn't create the images Wade saw. Whatever they said that has made him so angry was him talking to himself. Wade may not need him, but he needs something. “Maybe I do,” agrees Wade.
Cable bodyslide teleports the two of them back to the roof of Wade's apartment building. Don't say anything for a few minutes, asks Wade. After hesitating, Cable leaves Wade with the comment that, for two people that claim they don't need each other, they do a lot of stupid things to stay together. As Cable flies off and Wade goes back to his apartment, he comes to the conclusion that he lost count because he stopped caring. As he unenthusiastically goes back to the Maude marathon, he wonders what he should do about this new truth.
Cable, Domino, Irene Merryweather
Hard Hat man with Tuba
Various New Yorkers
Ajax, Hajin Bin Barat, Makeshift, Rive, Tiamat
Various other Deadpool victims
The recap page features Deadpool as a late night talk show host. He has liquor stains on his mask and front of shirt indicating he was attempting to drink through his mask. He explains the events of last issue in a somewhat irate manner. He yells at his audience for clapping at his misfortunes before realizing they are clapping for his “guest,” Cable. Cable then cheerfully informs his host that he had subliminally placed a message in Wade's head to make him regret his actions.
Edamame is immature soy beans still in the pod, usually boiled and covered in salt. It is a common dish in Asian cultures.
Bea Arthur was an actress famous for her roles as Maude Finlay in the sitcoms All in the Family and Maude. She also played Dorothy in The Golden Girls. It is a recurring joke that Deadpool is sexually attracted to her, despite her advanced age.
After years of Deadpool plugging the idea of him having his own video game in the comics, Activision finally decided to make it a reality.
The “Rosie” to whom Cable refers is Rosie O'Donnell, who briefly joined the cast of The View before leaving due to controversies.
Issue Summary written by: WorldWideWade