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Joined: 07-Apr-2007
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QuoteReplyTopic: Update 8/23:Summer of Updates GS Stories Feedback Posted: 04-Apr-2010 at 3:35am
So here we are with a new General Section Update! Sorry for such a large break but I've been extremely busy due to being in my very last semester of college! Scary stuff but come summer thingsshould pick up so send in those stories and enjoy these six new stories(including two brand new titles!)
As the team comes to terms with having been bombed by terrorists, Agency X decides what to do. Do you really go to war to remove a single man from his position of power? Dani has the answer, and it may shock you....
The girls have arrived in Amsterdam, and can finally get down to business. However, it seems a lot of people are none to happy about a team of X-Men arriving in Europe. And what about Cloud 9? It's High Noon Amsterdam as The Dark Riders return!
Betsy Braddock wants to be a leader. Martinique Jason wants to be free. Warren Worthington wants a fresh start. Paige Guthrie wants a simpler life. Wanda Harkness wants to be happy. Peter Wisdom wants to be in control. Shinobi Shaw wants something noble to do. What do they all have in common? They're not going to get what they want...
It's been three months since Bogan took over the minds of the adult members of the team. Three months of most of the world believing them to be dead. Three months of training under one of the X-Men's most deadly villains. But questions are still left unanswered... why is Bogan REALLY so interested in Sage? How will those three months have changed the kids? Who is having brain surgery whilst fully conscious? And who the hell is Savannah?
Orchids and assassins, secret messages and holograms. What was the reason Hisako's Father was murdered? The secret of Melanie's family stands revealed. Also Hellion helps Sunfire with a little mutant problem in downtown Tokyo and Rogue deals with the news Anole gave her.
Awesome as always. I love this title so much. Love the characters and am loving the new direction of the plot. It’s dark and slightly twisted and sends the kids in a great new direction. I seriously love reading your characters, they always make me laugh and put a smile on my face. I think I’m unhealthily attached to them.
First the kids. Loved all the scenes with the couples. That was all very sweet and fun to read as always. Dennis thinking Marley was inviting Becca to a threesome was a highlight for sure. Cracked me the hell up. Owen and James were sweet too but you know I’m all “Darley 4EVA”! I like how Becca was hanging with the big dogs. She seems so confident in her own skin and in her role, it’s great. I’m excited to see where this new storyline is taking them. It’s really causing them to grow up. Excited to see if any of these characters will take up Mystique more ruthless stance and how the others will react if they do. I just LOVE the potential this storyline has.
The Bogan scene was creepy. Seriously, the guy is scary. If Storm breaks free she is going to so fry his ass and that is going to be so much fun. Yet part of me is hoping that that they don’t break free or at least the team continues down Mystique’s path. Again I think it has tons of fun, character growth potential.
Love your Mystique and Emma, who are just both pure badass. Yikes getting a hole drilled in your head but Mystique takes it like a champ. And Emma just owning everyone’s brains is always fun. You make both strong, and in Emma’s case especially, sympathetic , layered and vulnerable.
Definitely intrigued by the plots coming up, also excited to find out who this girl is, and definitely excited to see the conclusion for this arc because I’m not sure what’s going to happen. Great issue, doing a good job of both setting a new status quo, setting up the arc, while also moving it forward too. I hope it doesn’t take too long for to write the next one, because if it does I’m going to come across the pond and smack you. And then we’ll go for drinks! But then I’ll slap you again just so you know I’m serious.
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NXM #12
Talk about drama! Haha. I really liked this issue. Filled withtons of good character moments for Hisako, Melanie and Julian. I thought even Beth had some nice moments even though the issue didn’t really focus on her.
I thought the Hisako/Melanie fight was well done only because I didn’t even know who to root for. I wanted Hisako to get revenge but I also didn’t want her killing the guy either because that is a definite point of no return. You really felt for Hisako throughout this, her turmoil and rage. I really liked what you did with her powers. I thought that was pretty neat(and creepy too). And I liked how it tied into the end. I really liked Melanie’s character, I felt for her too. Figuring out your dad is an evil assassin is never fun, haha. And I LOVED that little thing at the end with her “wanting to figure out how it felt to lose a father”, very nice writing there Doctor Kill Em All.
I also liked Julian’s part. Though it sort of felt not at all connected to anything else, I really like your Julian and I lovedh is interactions with XSE Japan, especially Sunfire. Plus I loved him saving the day. Very cool.
And I cracked up at Beth little comment about Melanie father’s job. I don’t know, I just imagined her being really nervous and obvious.
Also liked the stuff with Rogue and Victor back in the US. Like that she didn’t just inspire him right away. And the Cuckoos storyline is definitely interesting.
Not really anything negative to say. I think the Julian story sort of felt a bit random giving what was going on before and after it BUT I really liked that story so I didn’t mind it one bit. Great job, can’t wait for more and the fallout from this. I fearfor Hisako!
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Chaos #1
Really nice first issue.I thought you did a good job of making me care for characters like Wanda and Jack and set a good scenario for a nice, action packed story.
I really liked your Wanda. I think you did a good job of showcasing her character and her emotions. You really felt for her going back home and discovering no one was there. She is always pretty intriguing. Are those her real parents? Why is she so powerful? Etc. I also think you did good with Jack, giving background on him since I have no clue who he is. You’re Dr. Strange is also well written.The only character I had a problem with is Shaman. It’s probably most cause I have no idea who he is but I didn’t find myself caring what happened to him one way or the other.
The plot is definitely intriguing too. Is this a mini or a series? I like the little appearance by Pietro. I definitely to learn more about this world and who does or does not exist.I also love the set up for Wundagore and how it’s your main setting for the series. Tons of potential there.
Anyway great first issue, look forward to more!
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! For Mitch(Spoilers from X-Men From the Ashes)
X-Men From the Ashes
Nice job. You did a good job introducing your characters and the plot. I felt everything was really well written and the dialogue was also very nice, each character sounding unique.
Any story which looks like Jubilee will play a major part always get a big thumbs up from me. Love the character so yay to that :D. I definitely interested to see her in the headmistress role, she be exciting to see her take on a more stern stance when needed and also control her team too. Though if Ororo is at the mansion and Hank too, why aren’t they in charge? They’d seem the more likely choice so I hope(and I’m sure it will be) that’s explained.
Nice job introducing your characters, hope to learn more about them as the series go on. They all seem like they could be cool and I like Bryce’s powers, that’s unique and different, though not entirely useful in a bad guy fight. You can see where everyone fits in the ‘high school order’ of things, so should be interesting to seem them meld together. I do think Trevor is a tad cliché though. Leather jacket, cigarettes, bad boy attitude and all. I’ll also hold off judgment on Wyatt. Not always a fan of the “multiple personalities disorder” plot, especially when the other voices talk to the character, lol.
The prologue definitely hints at a very deep and complex universe so I’m excited for that to show up more and more. I did wish we would have gotten a bit more of the events talked about in the prologue in the main series but I understand why you didn’t too but I definitely hope it gets picked up because I think it’s a great play on the ‘cure’ storyline, with lots of nice little twist.
So welcome to THOIN.I’m excited to see where your universe is going and definitely think it has potentials for all kinds of awesome. Look forward to more from you!
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For Jano(Spoilers for X-Women and Agency-X)
X-Women #3
Yay for the return of JanO! Missed you!! Anyway I started off with X-Women #3 and it was fantastic. Love the cast, love the way the plot is coming together. Missed these characters and the unique setting, so glad to have it all back.
I really REALLY do your cast. I think they just gel so well together and their scenes together are so organic and real. The dialogue really just flows and each of the characters have great chemistry together. You have them dealing with some very ordinary things and then some very extraordinary things and it all just feels natural. They go from talking about shower schedules to registration and it’s believable because of the way you write it. I love your Kitty, she’s great and as Rachel said, ‘complicated’. She’s conflicted, a tad broken and just trying to keep it all together. You also write an awesome Loa. I don’t know much about her character in 616 but her she’s extremely likble and sympathetic. Big plus to Blink and Rachel too. I love those little narrations you through in there.
I like Abby but I do sort of wish you would have kept her as a spy. I don’t know, I’m watching Alias with my roommate right now and I’m just also expect double crosses, triple crosses, lol. I really thought Abby was going to reveal that revealing she was a spy was all part of her plan. Sort of bummed she didn’t. Though her reveal did lead to a great scene, I thought it would have been nice tensionif she stayed slightly on the other side.
This plot has me saying ‘hmm’ for sure. ‘Hmm’ in a good way of course. So Fabian and Mystique and John Sublime. Quite an array of villains, all of whom are awesome. What are their plans and are they teamed up? Even if they aren’t the X-Women are in big trouble. I loved the way you write all three and can’t wait to see Mystique’s interactions with the X-Women. That should be fun.
So yes welcome back! I’m VERY happy about your return. Keep up the fantastic work and give me more stories!!!
Agency- X #10
Great issue. While others issues of this series felt very much like an ensemble, I think this issue felt like a Dani issue and I think it worked out great.
Dani was excellent in this issue. I loved all her scenes, from her scenes with actual characters to the introspective scenes with herself. I think you really just nailed down where her character is going and how she is feeling. It’s very interesting and I think she’s actually taken Sally’s place as my favorite Agency-X girl. Still special mention to the Dani/Sally scene because I love their chemistry and Dani’s scene with Traumfanger. Both awesome.So yeah Dani in this issue, pure AWESOME. Loved her in it and can’t wait to see where you’re taking her character.
I found the plot really interesting. I loved the political friction behind it. It definitely makes the situation harder. The Ambassador is an ass but Senakya brothers are crazy bastards. Lose, lose for this crew either way. This issue did a great job of preparing the crew for what’s to come and definitely upping my excitement.
Love the Senakya brothers. They’re creepy as heck. Really great villains.
My only problem was the Kurt/Illyana relationship. Sorry don’t care what she sees but it’s uber-creepy in just about every single way possible. I just can’t buy into. So yeah I didn’t love that scene.
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For Laudo(Spoilers for XL#2)
XL #2
Okay so this was good but without it’s problems. I think that it fit a bit better with the Agency-X verse only because of the mention of events in that universe but it still feels sort of…unnecessarily tied to that world. It just doesn’t share it’s qualities with being in a unique setting(Braddock Manor is Excalibur’s old hideout after all, which was strangely not mentioned). I think sometimes its better to not tie yourself to a universe just to be in a universe. And to me, this just seems strangely tied to Agency-X. But that’s just how I feel I guess. JanO is the boss of that verse and if he feels it fits, it fits.
My other problem was the characters. A lot of them just didn’t seem in character.Betsy just seems sort of tame here. She has no attitude, no flirtatious edge or well edge at all, no snide or snobby remarks or anything of the like.She just seems too sweet to be Betsy. And I’m sorry, I can’t buy Betsy having a dream of “running her own X-team”. That’s so not Betsy. And the interaction between her and Paige was way too normal.You’d think their would be some awkwardness considering they were both with Warren, especially since Betsy and Paige practically only knew each other because of that. Shinobi Shaw was talked a little too slang. He’s a proper kid, I just seem him taking very pretentiously. And then there is Wisdom, it’s a small/big one. No one calls him Peter Wisdom. It’s Pete.
Other than that, I felt the other characters were fine. I liked Amara’s little scene and I loved Emma’s scene. Had me cracking up the whole time, you write a terrific Emma. I also definitely like what seems to be going on with the plot. You definitely have a pretty great plot going on that is keeping me in tune.And I think the cast is shaping up to be nice, especially if the Scarlet Witch joins the group, so your definitely going to have an awesome team which I think have the potential to have great interactions with each other(especially if you mine some of the love triangle drama).
@Xtreme - I won't say that I'm not disappointed that you still don't think the series belongs in this universe. Jan and I talked it over, and what he says the universe is about is not girl power or unique settings, but second chances. I really think that's what all of my characters here are looking for, and I think that's what a main theme of the series is.
Betsy is the most difficult for me to write, as it's kind of tough to balance her refined characteristics with her harder edge. I'll try to work on that. Or maybe I'll just make this Betsy a skrull and start over. Shinobi could have been a bit more refined, I agree. I'll try to work on that.
I'm glad you're liking Amara. I kind of added her to the cast because I didn't have enough characters, and then Jan's all "You write Magma so well!" Her presence is an accident, but I'm really taking a liking to her now. Also, I love writing Emma. I'm not sure what it says about me that It's incredibly easy for me to write the White Queen, but oh well. I love her, and I love scenes where she talks to Scott almost like he's a child or like he's just there to listen to her.
Oh, and, the drama will be mined. There's so many love triangles inter-connect so much, that what I have is practically a love web. Should be fun.
"Some people use 'Change' to promote their careers, others use their careers to promote Change."
-Sarah Palin at the 2008 Republican National Convention
@XtremeOne1: Thanks for taking the time to read my story! I totally agree about Trevor being a cliché lol, but I'm hoping to expand him in the next few issues so that he won't be! I'm glad you liked the "cure" background as I was nervous about it's believability! I mainly chose to use that so that I could eliminate most of the X-Men cast and make it easier for me to write considering I'm not all that solid on the X-Men's history. I really only started reading the comics starting with The New X-Men (Elixir, Surge, Hellion, etc.) I've watched all the different cartoons as well, but again, I'm not sure how well they follow the comics' plot. I'm also glad you liked Bryce and his odd powers lol. I'm excited to play him out as well! Hopefully your questions will be answered in the upcoming issues! Thanks again for reading and leaving feedback!
@Das_Boot (Feedback for XXTNC!!!)
I'm uber excited to see a new issue in this series! Like I said before, I'm a huge fan of your original characters! I'm loving the plot with Bogan and all that goes with that. I like the couples that have formed out of your originals, though I do feel bad for poor Becca seeing as she is probably my favorite and she's all alone. I'm still loving the James/Owen relationship and I can't wait to see more! Your Emma is really awesome too! I love Emma so it's good to see her portrayed so well! I'm seriously curios about Savannah and what she's all about! As always, your writing leave me longing for more! Keep up the amazing work!
@Xtreme-- You know Darley's going to be my Xanya, right? To answer your questions, Mystique's going to be hanging around. Through her present and future actions, it's going to become apparent that this time she's serious about wanting to commit to the X-Men, and not just for Forge's sake. She's worked both sides of the line and whilst she might ultimately see her place as being firmly ON the fence, when it comes down to it, she's not a truly evil person. She's an opportunist, and by her very nature as a shapeshifter, is a top-notch manipulator, but she's not thoroughly evil... mainly because Messiah Complex hasn't happened. More to the point, she sees Rogue as her daughter far more than she sees Kurt as her son. She needs to make amends, and how better to do that than to do the motherly thing and help Rogue get married without a hitch?
Emma's hanging around for the next few issues too, at least until after my Sage mini.
@Mitch-- Glad you liked the James/Owen scenes, and as for happily ever after... well, whilst the first few arcs before this were pretty James-centric, I have a MASSIVE arc planned for Owen. As in, this will shake him to the very core of his being and things will never be the same for him again. Ever. And also, you raised a point in your last batch of feedback for me that you've unwittingly touched on again. I can't WAIT to see your reaction to it, since you don't know (yet) what it is that's about to happen... LOL :)
I've not got round to reading much yet, although I do have a first piece of feedback to get me started...
X-WOMEN: Okay, so, as you might have picked up on from my subtle comments, I'm not a huge Kitty fan for the most part. I find her far too Mary-Sue and perfect. She has no faults, or if she does, she overcomes them flawlessly. Except for here. Sure, she's been through the wringer, but I was glad to see Rachel call her out on it, and I'm also glad to see that despite her being one of your favourite characters, you didn't let that Halo effect stop you from making her somewhat of a bitch and a flawed person. I really liked the Alani scene where she went a little bit like Faith from Buffy (In the episode she first appeared in, when she started beating on the vampire while Buffy was getting choked or something... ANYWAY...), but yeah, I liked that even though Alani is a character who hasn't seen much development in the main MU, you're really going for it and giving her a unique voice and perspective amongst your cast. Also, I loved Rachel, Clarice and Abby, but I just feel like it was Kitty and Alani who got to shine a little brighter than the others in this issue.
Loved the ensemble of villains this team seem to be preparing to face, especially Cortez... he is STONE. COLD. Loved it :) Even Kitty. Whom I hate. Except for yours, apparently... go figure!
Edited by das_boot - 06-Apr-2010 at 4:28am
http://danielelington-boot.tumblr.com/ is where my thoughts go to retire of an evening. Correct.
Thanks for the review xtreme, it was a fun issue to write. I'm going to start focusing on more of the other kids next. Bling is getting some work in the annual. Others to look out for there are Anole, Hellion, Orphan, Spectre and Rockslide. It gets pretty hairy for the kids soon! Oh and the ones that went to XSE in #9 are guest appearing in the annual too!YAY
Despite it being late, I don't feel like going to bed. And that means fanfiction review time!
X-Men: From the Ashes #1 - Interesting set-up with the history. I find it hard to believe that Sinister would would reveal himself to the world in any capacity. Essex has always worked from the shadows, always working behind the scenes, so I think the sudden bid for attention is off character. Also, there isn't any logic behind his attack. You say that he's getting the more powerful mutants out of his way, and that's fine, but why? Given that Sinister generally works unmolested (until he goes out of his way to bother the X-Men), I don't see a need to kill 90% of the world's mutant population unless he was going to do something abnormally big. This all works fine as a general recap - I remember the actual Spider-Girl comic glossing over old history for the sake of moving on - but it just feels rather unformed here. The scene with Julian was nice. Both characters interacted smoothly, very naturally, although I feel the tear when she looked at the photo was a bit much. The introductions of the students - Vivienne, Nilvia, and Anna-Lee - was actually really nicely done. I appreciate the physical discriptions, as new characters rarely get them, and I like that they aren't just established young mutants getting re-cast. Too often with fanfiction do we get "junior" teams that are just mashing of the various X-casts in teen form. It's refreshing to see actual new characters. Some of Anna-Lee's lines ("Well shut mah mouth! Ain't you a sight for sore eyes!") seems really cliche for the "western" character. I mean, I'm not knocking the sayings - I've used them myself - but only jokingly.
All in all, I really enjoyed the new issue. The lack of most of the "major" x-characters was, like I said, refreshing, and it's nice to see the newer creations standing on their own. I do agree that Trevor's appearence comes off as cliche, but I think that given time he'll mature into a fine character. The thing that I really liked was all of the set-up. Whether it's Julian as a teacher, Vivienne's crush on him (and further exploration of her identity), the history behind Nilvia and Anna-lee, Wyatt's history (I have to say that I like the hint of his powers), Trevor and Jackson's situation, or this mysterious Bryce Forbes'. A solid start despite a few cliches.
Chaos 1 - Given that there isn't any description for this issue and I don't recognize the author's name, I REALLY came in blind to this series. And I gotta say...I don't mind that all. This was GOOD. Really good. The focus on Wanda not as a mutant, not as an Avengers, but rather, just as a girl who can do magic, was great. I liked the inclusion of Strange, Shaman, and Jack Russel as well - I really liked Strange's attitude. He was more playful and realistic in this story than I'm used to seeing him. Strange is generally portrayed as a stuffed shirt, but he was nicely realistic here. My ONLY complaint is some of the grammar. There were several question sentences that didn't end in question marks, and the usage of "there/their" was mixed up several times. Otherwise, I thought this was a really solid issue.
Winner of Best 617 Hero for 2007 - Magneto (Magneto Cado Rex)
First (and only?) winner of Story of the Month for August 09 - misseDirections #3
Finally I dive back into the world of reading and reviewing (writing
too) of the Fan Fiction here. More reviews shall follow soon :)
From The Ashes #1: Very nicely done first issue. It's not always
easy to use original characters in a story cause others won't get them
the same way or will look at them differently or think they don't work,
etc. But each one of them was pulled off nicely with their own distinct
personalities (or multiple in one case lol). They weren't just stock
mutant characters or the like. It's also nice to see actual variety in
mutant powers like the painting. Sure it's not good in battle probably,
but the edict that all mutants in the x-books have to have fight worthy
powers kind of defeats the whole 'mutation is random and different in
each person' type thing. Just like the fact that all mutants were good
looking for the most part for the longest time did that. A true variety
of mutants is a nice thing to see.
Jubilee in charge is a pretty awesome thing, cause she's not one you
would think of as being in charge but fits so well. While it would have
been nice to see the prologue stuff happen, it's not the story you
wanted to tell persay therefore it's understandable that it was just a
recap. Very nicely done issue overall and can't wait to see #2, welcome
to the fan fiction world of UXN/THOI :)
@grief: Thanks for the read! I can definitely agree that my history is splotchy. I honestly just wanted to clear the world of the majority of the X-Men characters and give myself the freedom to write without having to worry about all their crazy and twisted histories. (Mainly because I'm not completely familiar with all that.) I'm glad you liked the original characters! I understand that Anna-Lee's speech is overdone, but I really like playing it up and there will more than likely be more sayings. I framed all the characters in general cliches with the hopes that as they develop, they will break out of them. Anyway, really glad you liked it so far and I promise the initial set ups will be further explored next issue!
@UncannyScott: Thanks for the read! I'm glad you enjoyed the characters! I'm excited to develop them and see what happens! Glad you liked the descriptions of the characters, I wanted the readers to visualize the characters in their minds, so I'm glad that's working! I'm glad you like my choice for the headmistress lol, I think Jubilee will prove to be a great leader!
New X-Men #12 Great issue. I loved Hellion's story here. He's always had kind of a similar demeanor to Sunfire, so it was fun seeing them together since none of the X-writers seem to care about dialog between characters who don't usually see each other. Melanie was awesome in this story, though I'm a little disappointed that she wasn't able to beat up on Hisako a little more. I kind of wanted to slap Victor. He seemed more worried about his relationship with Northstar and how he was going to live with himself that the fact that he got Aurora killed. I guess it's normal for a teen to make it all about them without realizing it, but it was kind of exhausting listening to him whine. I liked everything that happened in Japan though. It was interesting seeing how the former Hellions kind of still act like a team, rather than part of the larger one. You're a fabulous writer, and I can't wait for the Rubies & Sapphires annual.
Also: Hellfire!
Chaos #1 Awesome, awesome, awesome. I love anything about Wanda, and this seems like it's going to be a really good series. There's not a ton more to say, as everyone else already said it. I agree with Xtreme that Shamen wasn't particularly sympathetic, unlike Wanda, Jack, and Strange. I can't wait to see what happens here, especially with the Bedlam Brotherhood with their plans fr Wanda.
"Some people use 'Change' to promote their careers, others use their careers to promote Change."
-Sarah Palin at the 2008 Republican National Convention
NXM #12-- I like that despite how short the Japan adventure has been, there seems like there's going to be a LOT of after-shocks... but then, why should I be surprised, it's not like I was expecting a happy ending, after all :P
While I enjoyed all the character beats this issue, I think stand outs go to Julian and Hisako, purely because you write a really good Julian, and have his arrogant nature completely nailed, and Hisako because... well, calling a spade a spade, your Hisako has done more to interest me in the two years or so you've been writing this title more than REAL Hisako has in nearly six. Nice going! :)
Chaos #1-- I enjoyed this because of the focus on Wanda less as a mutant and more as a force of magic... Seeing the team up with Dr Strange, Shaman and the werewolf guy (I don't think I've ever come across him before in anything I've read) was awesome, and I think you wrote a really strong relationship between the three. I hope we can see some more of Pietro in the next few issues, but if not, then it's not the end of the world, and moreover, I can kind of understand why he wouldn't necessarily fit with the rest of the main characters. Either way, very interesting and I'm looking forward to see where you take this from here :)
Edited by das_boot - 26-Apr-2010 at 4:28pm
http://danielelington-boot.tumblr.com/ is where my thoughts go to retire of an evening. Correct.
@Xtreme- I finally got to read issue 51 of COTA and as always I thoroughly enjoyed it! I loved the team-up, that was uber cool! I still feel bad for poor Lily with the Conner situation and I was so mad at him when he decided he needed to announce that he was back with his ex! Jerk... I'm also really liking Cory's development as far as his relationship with Stryker and the end bit with Mercury. I love your version of Mercury who is already a favorite character of mine anyway. I actually liked Josh in this issue as well, not that I've ever disliked him, but I really liked him this time because of his little meeting with Stryker and the end bit with Megan. I liked the Sentinel attack, that was done really well, but it pained me to see a character named Pulse get destroyed lol. Anyway, great issue, can't wait to read more!!!
Wow thanks for the reviews of Chaos, I'm currently stuck on number 2 but I'm working things out and I'll try to make Shaman a little more 3D.
Well I'm a complete douche because I have been reading a lot of stories and not writing any feedback. There have been quite a few so I'll try to get that done soon. I just have to remember all the ones I read.
"I'll never understand why someone hasn't just killed you. You're only a man dressed up in a Bat costume." Supergirl
Thanks Laudo and Das for reading New X-Men. It was such an awesome issue to write. I've been dying to get to this Hisako storyline. It sets up a lot of drama for the next feww arcs of this title. Julian is definitely one of my favs to write in this title, but I think I've played his current plot through and he has reached the natural conclusion. He has finally accepted that the Decimation events and Tag and Wind Dancer's death were out of his control. He has his new powers to work on but he knows he can be a good X-Man. Though this all Hellions together thing will be a problem. Focus for the next few issues will be shifting to some of the other characters. Anole will be getting some more development, Bling comes to the fore in the Annual, Elixir and Blink will have more development soon and big things are coming up for those two. We will also be seeing a ressurection of sorts very soon! Watch this space.
And yes I am sorry.... I am working on some more Hellfire! And it will be a good issue!
I am sooooo far behind on my fan fiction, both when it comes to reading and writing. I'll catch up guys, I promise. I at least got my latest Exiles completed finally, a year overdue. I doubt anyone even remembers it anymore lol
2008 THOIN Awards
Favourite New Series: Knights of Greymalkin
Best Action Series: Knights of Greymalkin
Favourite Character Revamp: Storm(Knights of Greymalkin)
Just want everyone to know I won't be around. My laptop has crapped out on me plus I'm graduating in just 9 days!!!! Scary as hell!! Anyway after that I should be able to edit and then once I get my computer back put an update. Expect the GS Updatse to be a lot more active this summer while I job search in this crap economy.
So far I like it. It has a very Academy X feel to it which I like and the characters are engaging although a little bit typical of a 'diverse' group of individuals. From this one issue I'm most interested in Vivienne, who she is and her mysterious almost manipulative attitude. The time jump guy was way too stereotype bad guy who just needs a hug! And the contrasting roommate thing has been done so many times, so I guess Im looking for a twist to this plot line. I think Jubilee was very good, you were able to keep her voice while adding maturity to it which I thought was well done. I loved the nod to Laura and Hellion as well, something to wach there I'm guessing. Also the multiple personality guy has an interesting power set, looking to see more of that explained! Good introductory issue, now just waitng for it to all take off!
Hello peeps! So it's summer time and as of right now that means lots and lots of freetime for me so that means lots and lots of updates(hopefully). We're going to be starting our summer of with a big one with EIGHT new stories from six different writers! We even had a brand new series from JanO! So get to reading and remember to feedback in the forums! Enjoy folks!
A barbarian, a rogue, a ranger, a wizard, a centurion, an acrobat. Six noble warriors pit themselves against a world corrupted by the darkest of gods. Even with the mightiest of enchanted weapons, can the Exiles defeat six whole divine armies? Also, meet the newest member to the Exiles, she's not what you expected.
The Acolytes and X-men work together to hunt down the Scientist Supreme. They succeed, but get a whole lot more questions than answers. The top 2: Should we stop AIM? Can we stop WW3?
Part Two of My Enemies! The history and origins of the Mutant Liberation Front continues! The past of Jamie Madrox is revealed; but who(and what) exactly is Jamie Madrox. Meanwhile Crystal’s mutant powers emerge along with a new side of her while Betsy’s family issues reach new heights and Calvin goes to the extremes to reach his goals.
A night of nightmares for the members of the X.S.E. But who is causing them and could they be responsible for the post-sentinel stress disorder plaguing Genosha? Find out next issue in what lays down the foundations for a deeper plot.
While the X-Women have certainly been busy since they arrived in Amsterdam, their investigation has not yielded any results so far. Desperate to try anything, Kitty approves a plan from Alani to infiltrate the Amsterdam chapter of The Hellfire Club!
The team arrives in Morvania to extract Senyaka, but they're not the only ones that come calling. The government has called in some help as well, and wouldn't you know that one of Dani's first real enemies is among them! Enter Donald Pierce and The Reavers.
The Agency X-verse expands once again! The nature of of Magic in the world is broken and who will the mystics, the monsters, the magicians and the mysterious look to for salvation? Well, certainly not Megan Gwynn, Pixie of the X-Men, but our goth-girl bad-ass "have Souldagger, will travel" magical mutant will sure give her best shot! The world may be doomed, but Pixie's on the case!
Interesting first issue and nice new addition to the Agency-X verse.I definitely thought this was a real interesting tale and I really, really like the plot of it. Definitely intriguing from start to finish.
Like I said the plot was fantastic. I was drawn in right from the start, with your quick introductions to a bunch of mysterious magic characters. I’m no expert on Marvel magic but I could definitely tell that these guys are very likely bad news. I also thought it was a great way to begin the series. Definitely shows the impact of Marvel magic and the history that will be behind the series. The plot as a whole is also very intriguing with all these magic folks and the mystery. Who are the others that remember the cave? Who killed Strange? What does what happened in this issue mean for certain characters? Who’s good and who’s bad? All these really interesting questions that I want answered and I just read one issue!
The supporting characters also have me hooked. I’m liking them all from Modred to Morgan. Modred definitely seems to be a good guy but he’s usually a bad guy(in fiction that is) so I’m not sure how much I trust him. Same with Morgan. I thought she was badass and she helped Pixie but she obviously can’t be trusted. What’s her end game? And Ian, what’s going to happen to him now? So yeah your supporting characters are excellent and you wrote them all as distinct and full characters filled with mystery so bravo.
Now my problem with the issue…Pixie! Yes big problem isn’t it :p. I sort of loathe the character in 616 so I’m already going in with a bias against her, which I think is a problem with such a polarizing character like Pixie. She just annoys the hell out of me and honestly I was annoyed with her in your story too.She’s cocky, arrogant and rude, sort of a poser too boot. I sort of didn’t find myself liking her at all. Now this could be because of my bias against her, and I hope it is. I hope as the series goes on, I can warm up to Pixie. But you have an uphill battle when it comes to me and Pixie :D.
But your plot and supporting cast sure enough makes up for it for me, so I can deal with Pixie because I sure am loving the start of this series! Keep ‘em coming. No slowing down! I’m glad to have the Jano back :D.
Agency-X
Oh boy this issue was something else! Seriously it was downright chilling.I loved every minute of it though, seriously great job.
I liked that this issue seemed to focus more on the bad guys than the good. Well it was more even but the bad guys were doing a hell of a lot more than the Agency-X crew who were more like getting into position. I liked that Dani was the focus on that by the way. She is the leader after all so it was great to see what was going through her mind. The scene with her and Sally added a great sense of lightness to the issue. It was really sweet and their friendship truly shines.
I’m not sure who I should be fearing more right now; Seyanka or Pierce. Both are evil bastards who’ve killed plenty of people and both are leading some pretty intimidating folks. Pierce is downright disturbing, killing 12,000 people and hardly even emoting about it. Right when he came in I knew they’d be trouble. You right a great Pierce, seriously deadly and strong. He’s an awesome villain. I loved how he sacrificed one of his own people just to improve another. And yikes Lady Deathstrike! So yeah I think he’s beating Seyanka a bit but not by a lot. Senyanka did take down Cargill afterall. Cargill was another disturbing villain. All your villains are disturbing me actually. All are really scary evil yet also really cool. And they love Massacring people. It makes me worried that you’re spending time with Mackers.
So yea your villains rocked this issue. They were just brilliant. I loved this issue. You had all this stuff going on and the Agency-X crew hadn’t even arrived to their destination. Instead you showed that our heroes are going to have one hell of a hard time. It should be very fun for us though!
I’m officially labeling this my favorite Agency-X issue ever by the way :D.
X-Women
Terrific stuff here. This title has taken poor little Sally Belvin’s crown for my favorite Agency-Xverse title.
I love the chemistry of this cast. I cracked up tons of times. The “He Loves You” followed by Alani’s, “That’s nice” was just perfect comic gold. Kitty one of my favorite characters(in comics and your series) but I think you’ve made me love Alani even more than her. She just had me laughing constantly. Her character is so much fun and enduring yet you’ve also made her pretty layered.I have no clue who 616 Alani is so I really consider her your creation and you creation is awesome.
Everyone truly shines here even the people who don’t get much of focus, Clarice being the example here. Though she was hardly the focus of this issue her lines were witty and very much Blink. That’s great considering she was more of a side character here. Kitty was of course awesome. Loved her computer chaos. And Rachel was great too. Liked her first person narration a lot. Definitely excited to see her next issue with Selene.
Speaking of Selene, seriously another awesome bad guy this update. You right one badass Selene. And your Kevin’s terrific too. I feel bad for the kid for sure. Will the X-Women get themselves an X-Man or will they be fighting him? I have a feeling the latter which makes me feel even sadder for him.
This plot is definitely intriguing. I’m definitely intrigued in this Fabian and No. 1 plot. Can’t wait to find out who No. 1 is! Fabian is another villain you’re writing terrifically by the way. I loved that whole scene or well sequence or exposition, whatever you want to call it. I thought it was done well, revealed a lot while still keeping a good amount of mystery.
Oh and Modred, so clearly evil here! What the hell is going on there?
Great stuff JanO. More please!
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Feedback of Decimation for Mackers!!!
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Decimation: X.S.E
Awesome issue. Short but sweet, maybe a bit too short!! I want more!!! I enjoyed each dream sequence
I thought this issue was excellently paced.Never a dull moment here and the dream sequences were all very well written.
It was a great insight into the character’s mind and creepy too boot(the scene with the girl in the mirror was very well written). I liked each character’s dreams and especially like Callisto’s. Glad she’s getting attention and is obviously going to be a main character. Also liked her dream was Morlock Massacre-centric. Poor Callisto. Poor Theresa too. Love how you’re writing her, definitely feel for her. And Monet! Yes for Monet. I love your Monet. I’m excited for her to get her revenge, it’s going to be kickass. Storm wasn’t very prominent this issue nor was Warpath but I still liked Storm’s scenes. It’s hard to write a good Storm and I just like to point out again that you do it. Even in the short scene with Monet you prove why she’s a great leader.
I’m definitely intrigued over who is behind all this. Who is this guy? And brothers and sisters? And who are they trying to get back? Definitely a lot of stuff to chew on. I love that there is always some mystery in Decimation.
And a CROSSOVER!!! YAY!!! Can’t wait for that. So though I know you’re a busy guy, put that all aside and get writing Doc :p.
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Meet The Acolytes (Feeback for Markhawkman)
Honestly, not much to add that hasn’t been said before. I will say things have improvement since last time with the quality being better and things connection more but still no character sounds like themselves and there are large gaps in logic. Cyclops just being “Okay Exodus wants to stay here, you can” makes no sense whatsoever, especially considering it comes from Exodus. Where is this trust coming from? And the whole thing with the Scientist Supreme made little sense. If she wanted to test her powers, why summon the X-Men? Avengers seem more her thing no? And where did Moonstone come from? And why was she there when she literally wrote ‘She woke up and left’?
I think the problem is you have to remember that there needs be a story and plot that makes sense in both logic and character. It’s not just about getting from Point A to Point B and then have exposition at the very end. There needs to be tension and plot, there needs to be a reason these characters are doing what they are doing and most important, to me at least, there needs to be characters. I still haven’t gotten a feel for your characters. Give us some background on them, tell us how they feel, their motivations, their connections to each other.
Also I don’t think any fan fiction should have a author’s note to go read another comic. It’s up to the author to provide the detail so that we’re not confused when MODOK is suddenly brought up. !
! ! ! ! ! ! ! Feedback for Exilesfor Mitch Crane
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Exile #6
Morph transforming from Gandolf to Harry Potter and hitting the bad guys with a broom; if that doesn’t make an issue a winner I don’t know what will. Oh I know, have a sort of Green Lantern in your tale! Yay for someone from a non Marvel universe. Sure it’s sort of Marvel but it’s also sort of DC, so win-win!
Anyway I thought this was awesome one shot issue. You really do a fantastic job of creating these universes, each incredibly detailed and different. This one especially was amazing and it was only around for one issue! That was great. You really made it come alive and I love the little bit at the end. I wouldn’t mind seeing a series based on this uni and that says a lot since it was only around for 12 pages.But yes it was definitely fun and I loved the weapons you created and the bad guys were all awesome too.The best way I could describe this issue(besides incredibly well written) was ‘pure fun’.
The characters were also great as always. Love your Morph(the Jackhammer bit had me in stitches), your Blink is fantastic, as is Sabretooth and Longshot. I’ve even warmed up to Zarda. As for the newest member, I’m definitely excited to see her and wondering if she really does know more than she is letting on. Seems to be the case as they’re from the same universe too right? I hope we get some background on her, not familiar with her character but definitely intrigued and already liking her(again Jackhammer bit).
Also nice twist at the end. I’m definitely wondering where this is going and enjoying the ride, even if I had to wait a year. Here’s hoping we get another issue sooner. Fantastic job Mitch.
PS: This issue made me want more Knights of Greymalkin, please get on that.
PPS: I’m being very bossy this update :p.
! ! ! ! ! ! Feeedback of X-Men: From the Ashes for Mitch Lauer!
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X-Men: From the Ashes
Okay so I read this before graduating so need to search my brain for some of the more specific feedback but I remember most of what I enjoyed! Plus I told you what I liked already!
Anyway, I really thought this was a great issue, especially for a second one. Issue one introduced to the characters and issue two does more of that while also showcasing their powers. The danger room scene was really well done. I liked the varying powers everyone has, lots of which are pretty original. I suck at thinking of powers but you came up with lots of good ones. You also did a good job showing off the personalities of your characters in this battle. Trevor and Anna were awesome I thought. Well technically Trevor sort of stunk but as a character I thought he was awesome.
I liked the Julian and Viviane twist. I didn’t expect them together to this soon let alone already be together for a good amount of time. I don’t see this ending well for Julian or Viviane for that matter. But it’s juicy drama and that’s always great. But I think the characters interact very well together and I like Viviane. For some reason I always like the incredibly mean snarky girl. And the sluts of course. And Vivi’s both!
As I told you last time I’m really liking your characters. Trevor and Anna I already gave a shout out too and Vivi too. I liked Jackson more this issue than I did last and I like your Jubilee a lot. You also write a very good Julian. I could definitely imagine Julian acting like he is in the future. Even your side characters are fun. I like that your quickly building the school as a realistic environment. You have non-main characters being introduced which expands the world of the school and again makes it more realistic. Your dialogue also helps with that. You write excellent dialogue. Your characters sound distinct and like actual teenagers. Plus lots of funny moments(the beginning with poor Nilvia and her goth roommate. PS like that you have a non-main character as her roommate!)
The plot is also coming together, with this strange power signature. But I’m liking right now that it’s a character drama, I love character dramas more than anything else so yay.
So yeah keep up the excellent work Mitch. And write more. Don’t make me hound you again!
Morph transforming from Gandolf to Harry Potter and hitting the bad guys with a broom; if that doesn’t make an issue a winner I don’t know what will. Oh I know, have a sort of Green Lantern in your tale! Yay for someone from a non Marvel universe. Sure it’s sort of Marvel but it’s also sort of DC, so win-win!
Anyway I thought this was awesome one shot issue. You really do a fantastic job of creating these universes, each incredibly detailed and different. This one especially was amazing and it was only around for one issue! That was great. You really made it come alive and I love the little bit at the end. I wouldn’t mind seeing a series based on this uni and that says a lot since it was only around for 12 pages.But yes it was definitely fun and I loved the weapons you created and the bad guys were all awesome too.The best way I could describe this issue(besides incredibly well written) was ‘pure fun’.
The characters were also great as always. Love your Morph(the Jackhammer bit had me in stitches), your Blink is fantastic, as is Sabretooth and Longshot. I’ve even warmed up to Zarda. As for the newest member, I’m definitely excited to see her and wondering if she really does know more than she is letting on. Seems to be the case as they’re from the same universe too right? I hope we get some background on her, not familiar with her character but definitely intrigued and already liking her(again Jackhammer bit).
Also nice twist at the end. I’m definitely wondering where this is going and enjoying the ride, even if I had to wait a year. Here’s hoping we get another issue sooner. Fantastic job Mitch.
PS: This issue made me want more Knights of Greymalkin, please get on that.
PPS: I’m being very bossy this update :p.
Firstly, so sorry for the delay in getting this out. Its been a year since the last Exiels, so I wouldn't be surprised if everyone has forgotten it lol. Don't worry Josh, I'm halfway through the newest KoG, featuring one of my favourite characters, the Mimic!
Glad you enjoyed this issue, its one of my favourites. did you notice the weapons and roels the Exiles played were a homage to a classic late 80's/early 90's cartoon?
2008 THOIN Awards
Favourite New Series: Knights of Greymalkin
Best Action Series: Knights of Greymalkin
Favourite Character Revamp: Storm(Knights of Greymalkin)
Thanks for the feedback xtreme! This was kind of a quickie issue. I had been working on it for a while and originally it was supposed to be longer but I just wanted to move on from it and get it out there. It also had to be done before the next arc in New X-Men. The mystery guy and his little group are going to be targeting the kids next, for reasons that will become clear down the line.
And yes a Decimation crossover is coming up and its going to be a doozy! 'Survival' if the current working title for it. The Weapon X theme in Amazing X-Men will lead into it as will some other threads in Uncanny and New X-Men. I'm very excited about it!!!!
Damn it, damn it, damn it. I finished Haven #3 and Outsiders #2 this week, but didn't want to send until XXTNC#22 was done... (It's important to the ending of Haven #3)... I should have it finished by Sunday at the latest though... and I'll get to reading and feedback soon!
http://danielelington-boot.tumblr.com/ is where my thoughts go to retire of an evening. Correct.
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