The Delayed Feedback Thread

Negatives.

Changing back and forth between past tense and present tense in the narratives, sometimes even within one sentence. It happened all throughout the issue.

This was one glaring error that struck me:

“and anyone who thinks they’d be able to take advantage of Nick Fury needs their head examining.”

Should use past tense, unless it was just a mistake on Clint’s part.

Sometimes you use the same word more than once in a sentence, like “personally” in Clint’s narration. That’s not so bothersome as I actually don’t expect Clint to have that awesome of a vocabulary. Beast using “nickname” twice in the same sentence when he could’ve done without bothered me though, mostly because you were so spot on with his narration/dialogue. It was just a strangely constructed sentence (especially for the last sentence of the section) to me. Again, you’re using first person narratives so it wouldn’t make sense for everybody’s to be perfectly constructed and grammatically correct but I expect better out of Hank.

Positives.

Spot-on with Fury. Great description of physical characteristics.  Interesting to see how Clint views him.

Thank you, thank you, for not hyperbolizing Rogue’s accent in her narration. I particularly enjoy seeing things from her view, but if her accent was in the narration and dialogue I would’ve found it unreadable lol.

I feel like your line-up is WAY Marvel heavy, but I’m incredibly excited by the prospect of interactions between Wanda and Rogue. It just screams “awesomesauce character interactions.” They have so much in common yet are so different.

After looking up  the non-Marvel characters (whom I’d never encountered before) I realized they were all Outsiders in the DCU. Still, in the future, it would be awesome if you would add a character (even a supporting one) that originates from a universe besides the main two. Could you imagine Beast and Indigo trying to care for a young Jenny Quantum? Lol. Well, I guess she’s technically DC now. Hmmmmm.

It’s interesting how differently people view Clint within their own narratives than Clint seems to view himself within his. He comes across as far more knavishly charming in the view of others. I think he likes to think of himself as more of a loner asshole.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to like Rex, but this line ended up being my favorite in the entire issue. ”… I grabbed the orb, and I felt this massive surge of pain rock through my body, kind of like licking a 9-volt battery. Only instead of licking it, I had been doused in water and thrown onto it. And instead of a 9-volt battery, it was a power-station.” . I feel like this character might be the one you (as a person) speak through the most. He has your sense of humor.

It’s a very eclectic cast. I can see how each character could possibly have something to learn from/teach to the other characters. Wanda/Rogue, Indigo/Katana, Indigo/Rex, Hank/Rex. Hank/Clint.

I felt you were concise in the action scene. I didn’t have much trouble visualizing what was taking place. So did Clint set the whole thing up? It was an interesting way to throw some action into an otherwise mostly set-up/exposition issue.