UXN FORUMS: New Series to THOIN: Feedback and Discussion

Positives

Your cast definitely has potential. I honestly go into every title about “X-Men’s kids” with a good amount of hesitation and bias against it. Just never a fan. BUT I think you did a good job with these kids and I like that they’re secluded off in their own world, part of an unconventional team for “X-Men’s kids” who are usually just placed at Xavier’s, were they become the next generation. I like that they aren’t exactly the next generation of the X-men. Yes they’re children of the X-men but because they’re X-Force, I sort of feel like they’re not following in their footsteps but setting out on their own. It always gives them more of an edge, puts them in a darker situation and will force them to grow up fast. The fact that they are cut-off from their family also makes things more interesting for them and for me in general.

I like the hint of all these new off shots too. HFC, Morlocks, etc. It gives them a lot of villains and I’m excited to see your take on them. Are they children of former HFC or new people? Or are they people we are already familiar with in roles? Lots of potential there!

The New Brotherhood definitely sound s interesting. Legion and Phoenix? I wasn’t surprised by Polaris, but those were two names that piqued my interest for sure.

Are the flashbacks going to continue? I think I’d like if they were, sort of Lost style, providing more details to how these characters go here. I’m intrigued by the backstories for sure. Excited to found out how certain relationships happened, how they broke apart and why people are where they are.

Negatives

The Alex/Regan was out of left field. All of a sudden he’s going to bat for her. Sure it was a few months in your story but seconds ago Alex loved Lorna until she went all crazy and killed a planet, and while it's easy to see why that love fell apart, it's just hard to care about two characters we never saw interact getting together.

And then we jumped 25 years later and honestly, there was WAY too much talk of relationships going on, and way too much talk about “Chris”. I felt like I didn’t really get to know the characters as well as I should have because we going through so much exposition about couples, and only getting a few tidbits about the actual characters. I got lost, honestly. We were getting these names and these people.

I didn’t read the bio first. I never do when I start a series. I feel a bio should supplement what you already know, not provide you vital details that you’ll be lost without. Details should be in the stories, especially the first issue. Bios or not it should focus on introducing these characters, who they are, what they’re about. Like the reveal of Aaron how little emotional impact because well, I don’t know who Aaron is. It’s important to flesh out the characters before anything, especially when dealing with original characters. Some form of attachment is necessary for people to care and knowing who these characters are is vital. Romantic relationships should never come before the actual characters.

The relationships of the actual core cast, of course, is a different story. And I think you’ve shown great potential here for a good cast of friends/lovers who so far have pretty good chemistry.(So yeah this is a positive!)

Obviously not everything should be revealed at once but at least the basics of who the character is should be revealed and I don’t think that happened here. They all sounded the same, which I understand given that they’re all teenagers and that happens.

Suggestions:

Also be aware that two pieces of dialogue shouldn’t be in the same paragraph if they are from two separate people. So you can’t have Polaris talk and then a sentence or two later, in the very same paragraph have a whole different category talk. When that second character’s dialogue begins, that’s a new paragraph.

Also it was weird for you to right about Scott and Alex, “They still loved each other like brothers”. They ARE brothers :-p. That’s just a nitpick though.

I’m excited for more of this tale. I saw TONS of potential with these characters, I think you just need to focus ON the characters and not on romances just yet. Characters first then love.

Also hope we get more of a reveal as to why this team exists, why they were chosen and what they are about?